February 9, 2010
Tomorrow I head off on a cross country trip (airplane) with the two kids. Just me and the kids, no Kirk to help. That officially makes it 2 against 1. And I am amazingly calm about the upcoming event.
Rip usually travels really well anyways, but he did volunteer to help keep Riley entertained during the flight. As Vicki would say, I’m having radical faith in my kids. I have no doubts we’ll do just fine!
February 9, 2010
Kirk & I had a ‘date’ a couple weeks back where we took the Parenting On Track Parenting Roadmap and used that as a planning tool for 2010. It was great! We actually identified the following goals for the year:
So not only did we set up these goals, but we used the Parenting On Track Roadmap philosophy to identify the steps we need to take to reach those goals. It’s only been a few weeks but we are definitely moving in the right direction to reach our goals. Very excited! And how cool will it be to teach our children how to do this so they can be better planners!
By the way, our next chapter for Parenting On Track is Family Meetings. We have been doing these for awhile and as soon as we refresh ourselves with the information I’ll post on how things are going in our household.
February 7, 2010
Our family attended a birthday party for a 5 year old boy yesterday at Dave & Buster’s. For those not familiar with D&B, it’s a family oriented arcade/style fun house. And I can honestly say, we had a fabulous time and walked away from the party without having experienced any outbursts or meltdowns from either kid. And, I actually had one parent approach me and comment on how well behaved Riley was – they expected the 2 year old to be out of control. And there was Riley, sitting calmly at the table eating her lunch while most of the other kids were running around. Anyhow, a meltdown-free event isn’t necessarily a first for us, but in the past it had always been an expectation at an event such as this.
I actually hadn’t even thought about it until the very end of the party when I was in the ‘reward store’ and watched my good friends deal with both of their kids melting down. The father commented on how he can’t stand going to places like that because they always end up in meltdowns.
As we were leaving the party, I started reflecting not only on how differently Kirk & I would have handled the meltdown(s) but how these past weeks of working the Parenting On Track program have actually set our family up so meltdowns are an exception to the rule.
Specifically, doing appreciations towards each other on a weekly basis have our kids working together instead of against each other. Allowances have our kids understanding the value of money – what they can afford, what they can’t and how to save up for something (although, they usually don’t have the patience for saving just yet).
And then there’s how we handle meltdowns. In the past Kirk & I would not have thought about maintaining/building a good relationship with our kids but would have resorted instantly to disciplining, yelling, time-outing. And we KNOW these things don’t work in the long run and that they make everyone feel bad in the moment. Now we just keep moving…focusing on staying away from, what I like to call, ‘the dark place’. And although we have seen changes in our family dynamics over these weeks, it was very apparent yesterday…feeling really good about how relaxed our family is becoming. Serious thank you’s to Vicki Hoefle!!!! The vision we have for our family is now moving towards a reality. Feeling real good right now!
February 5, 2010
This is from last Saturday. I asked if anyone wanted pancakes and Riley went running to the kitchen. Got out her step stool. Pulled down the pancake mix and grabbed a spoon. That was all within a minute. Too fun! Anyhow, here’s a small video of her and Rip cooking the pancakes.
February 2, 2010
Arrival at school: 10 minutes late. Back to square 0.
I do want to share the conversation Rip and I had on the way into school today.
Rip: Mommy, what are you going to put on the chart today? (he means my tracking sheet of getting to school on time)
Mommy: An ‘X’. We’re about 8 minutes late right now.
Rip: I’m never going to get to school on time! I can’t do it!
Mommy: I know you can do it! You got to school on time 2 of the last three days. And it’s about progress and improvement not being perfect.
a moment of silence then…
Rip: I know, I just won’t eat breakfast in the morning then I’ll be able to get there on time.
Mommy: You think that will help?
Rip: Yes. I’ll be able to get ready faster if I don’t have to eat.
Besides the internal freaking out about him not eating before going to school, I was feeling like this conversation showed progress. Rip actually put some thought into what he could do to get to school on time. Feeling pretty damn good about how this morning went.
As a side note, Rip slept pretty badly last night and woke up grumpy. Kirk and I avoided any interfering strategies (reminding) and went about our normal routine of reminding him when there was 15 minutes left till time to go to school. He realized he was hungry, ran and got dressed, ate some cereal, got majorly distracted, was late…and all with zero stress on anyone’s part. I did have to have an conversation with myself about Rip learning how to be on time now is a much better than him learning it 10 years down the road.
February 1, 2010
Day 6 – Arrival at school: 7 minutes late. Well, we at least made it to school on time 1 day last week. Back to 0 on the counter.
Day 7 – Rip woke up before his alarm clock…a good sign for the morning! He managed to get ready for school with 20 minutes to spare. I did my standard set the timer for time to leave. All he had to do when the timer went off was get his shoes on. This took a solid 5 minutes. Honestly, I don’t know what the distraction was but I could feel the blood pressure rising. I did talk myself down off the ledge so no incidents to report. We managed to get to school with about 30 seconds to spare. Rip was running through the school gate to beat the bell. So now, we’re back to square 1 of 5.
January 29, 2010
Arrival at school: 1 minute early!! We officially made it to day 1 of the 5 days of getting to school on time in order to earn the privilege of TV/Computer/Video Games. Phew! Can’t wait to see how tomorrow goes!
On a side note, last night Riley, completely unprompted and on her own, took hers and Ripken’s dishes to the kitchen. Wow’d us all!
January 28, 2010
Arrival at school: 10 minutes late.
No progress timewise but I did purposefully connect with Rip after his alarm went off and he did manage to get dressed IN the house (vs. the car). Unfortunately he started about 2 minutes before it was time to leave. I think if he had dressed in the car we may have beat the 10 minute mark but that would only because he wouldn’t have had any distractions in the car. As it was, distractions galore in the house and it took him 15 minutes to get dressed.
Thankfully, the stress levels have been really low and the mornings have been pleasant.
No asking for TV/Computer/Video games today. Rip & Riley both have been entertaining themselves quite nicely w/o those electronic devices we all know and love.
January 28, 2010
The next pop music stars for sure!!
January 27, 2010
Arrival at school: 10 minutes late Clock still at 0 but made progress in the amount of 7 minutes.
Learned a couple of things today.
1. I think Rip is using the time he spends getting dressed in the car as time to connect with me. He totally opens up and talks about school and other stuff.
2. Rip was under the impression (until just about half an hour ago) that he just needed to go 5 days without TV. He hadn’t made the connection between getting to school on time and earning the privilege of TV/Computer/Video Games. And when I explained it to him again…he was not very pleased.
Will see how things go tomorrow morning that he is more clear on how the system is working. My guesstimate on how long it will be before the TV comes back on is: 4 weeks.
