Zen Parenting

I am so happy to report that I managed to get through the morning routine without going into the rabbit hole.  No yelling, no getting tense, just kept moving – even though my lovely son was not moving forward.

I’m not sure how I finally found this pleasantly peaceful place, especially since I had minimal sleep with my 3 year old daughter sawing some serious logs all night long, but I found it and I don’t ever want to leave.

The morning started out with a thought that I was going to have radical faith in my son that he could get up and get ready for school.  I seriously kept chanting in my head “he can do it, I know he can.”  Nothing but positive thoughts flowing through the brain this morning.

Rip didn’t get ready.  As a matter of fact he didn’t even get out of bed until 5 minutes before it was time to leave.  He started going down a path of whiny, crying about breakfast.  I remained firm and kind.  Offered up a couple of options (fruit bar or fiber bar), put his clothes in the car, and walked Rip to the car.  Ride to school was pleasant.  Rip got dressed in the car outside of school (no that did not phase him).  And it wasn’t until I was kissing him goodbye that he asked about his ‘stuff’.  I asked if he brought his snack/lunch/backpack, he replied no and with minimal sadness, but more importantly, he didn’t freak out!  I told him I’d be happy to bring him a sandwich when I picked him up and he seemed OK with that.  And then I left for home/work.

I am so excited that even though the morning did not go as I hoped, it went smoothly and without any yelling or tears.  Ahhh, feels so good!




Enhancing Relationship Strategies #Fail!  Wouldn’t call it an epic fail, but fail nonetheless.

The morning started out all good and then I decided I wanted to get Einstein Bagels for breakfast.  Everyone had woken up on their own WAY early so in my mind, there wasn’t going to be a problem getting ready and out he door in time.  I tried to set the stage:

Mom:  Hey kids, if we can get ready by 8am we can eat breakfast at Einstein Bagels.

Kids:  Yea!!  Alright!

So, there you go, we’re all in agreement and there are 45 minutes left for the kids to get ready.  They were dressed already so really, it shouldn’t be a problem.  AND, right at that moment I should have pulled out the tape to help keep my mouth shut.  I didn’t and here is how I failed:

Reminding:  reminded Rip that he was responsible for making his lunch/snack;  reminded Rip that we would not be coming home after bagels so if he wanted to take his backpack, he needed to get it ready before we left;

Not keeping the agreement:  45 minutes came and went.  I did not let the kids experience the consequence of not getting bagels when they weren’t ready by 8am.  It was at least 8:15 before we were out the door.

Why did I fail?  Because I was HUNGRY!  And I REALLY wanted Einstein Bagels.  I absolutely wanted that bagel so bad that I let all my interfering strategies get in the way.  And in the end, I was so dis-pleased with myself, the bagel didn’t even taste all that good.  Ugh!

Ok, I always have to find the positive in any situation – just my nature.  So here is why this day wasn’t an Epic Fail:

1.  Rip is putting his lunch and snack together on his own.

2.  Rip is remembering his backpack on his own.

3.  I am continuing to learn lessons about myself.  Which includes when I want something, I will use/do whatever to make sure I get what I want.  And when I don’t get it, I tend to pout.

4.  I was still able to observe and take note of where the kids are in their skill development and where they still need to go.

Ok.  Time to move on to the next day.  Hopefully I’ll reach for the tape before it’s too late…